What’s in a name?

"It's Steph-ANIE. Not Steph or Stephie...Stephanie."

It plays over and over in my head like a mantra. Why on Earth people take the liberty to shorten my name is beyond me. If they were introduced to me as Christopher, I wouldn't automatically call them Chris. How lazy it is to shorten someone's name?! Like the "Anie" is just too hard to say. Sure, I may be a bit obsessed but I know all of the Amandas (not Mandy), Roberts (not Bob), and Jennifers (not Jenny) will thank me.
I remember when I became Stephanie (not Steph). It was the mid-eighties and I was laying on the living room floor innocently watching "Pretty in Pink" I discovered my nickname was...a boy's name. Steph - short for Stephen. The boy who was so mean to Molly Ringwald. My young mind decided that Steph was no longer acceptable. Not for me. After being teased for being bigger that the rest of the kids and being able to beat the boys in Indian leg wrestling...I could not bear to have a "boyish" nickname a moment longer. So there I was, Stephanie. A girly~girl who loved makeup and boys and cheerleading. And loved talking about all of it more than anything.
This attention to detail and perception has led to a life of correction. Although there are some who get a pass ~ family, very close friends, police officers, really cute boys. Most "shorteners" receive the automated response, "It's Steph-ANIE". Sometimes followed with a, "If my mother wanted me to be called Steph, she would have named me that". Another thing that puzzles me is how someone will assumingly abbreviate my name but look at me like I'm bizarre when I refer to them as Liam when they've just been introduced as William. To me it's the same thing. Why couldn't my nick name be something totally different? Why assume It's Steph? Why not Stevie, like Stevie Nicks?
(deep breath)

As a rule, always refer to someone as the name they introduce themselves as. If they want you to call them something else, they'll let you know.

Just an after thought...It's funny how the smallest of things can make the biggest impact. Something so seemingly insignificant can change a kid's opinion of themselves and skew their perception indefinitely. Perhaps as we are living our lives, raising our children, going to work, we will be reminded of the simplest things and how they can affect someone ~ good or bad...So remember the mail man's name, hold the door for the person behind you, make a child laugh. It could mean the world to them.
Taking a cue from Miss Spider (man, she's good!), who says, "Be good to bugs" ~ Be good to each other...we're only human.

Confessions of a 4 (or whatever it is)

OK, so here are my thoughts...merely the ideas of a girl who has struggled with weight issues her entire life....I don't guarantee anything will work for anyone. However, in all I have seen and heard, these are some of the conclusions I have some to...only my personal opinion.
With that said...I know this is a complicated and sensitive issue but you have to get real with yourself. You eat terribly most of the time. Taking nibbles here and there off Junior's plate, cleaning up after someone so carelessly left an open bag of chips on the counter. I'm not saying you can't indulge in things, just do so purposefully. I love cheesecake...but I don't eat it all the time...about once a week. I tell myself, and others, I don't like ice cream. The truth is Cherry Garcia is my favorite, followed closely by Black Raspberry. Ice cream doesn't like me. I happen to not digest dairy well and it makes me feel terrible. So, I take a bite of someone's ice cream and savor it. I could eat more, but the payoff isn't good enough...the same reason I rarely drink alcohol. You have to change your attitude about food. It's not your enemy, but it's not your friend either. It is a pleasant necessity of life...like Clean air and fresh spring water. We all wish we had those things but we sacrifice the benefits out of lack of control or knowledge. You can control what you eat. It's why so many women have eating disorders. We are very control motivated creatures. We need more knowledge.
We all want to feel good. Fit, healthy, happy. So, then why do we consume foods that make us feel so bad, and in such quantities? We need to think of food as fuel and nourishment. Think about what we're putting into, or not putting into, our bodies. It's mostly trash. Lots and lots of trash. I'm not saying I eat the healthiest diet but I do take ownership of that. I know I screw up and I'm ok with that. I just know the next day I have to be mindful of what I eat...only eat when I'm hungry. Give my body a break and let it digest the mess I fed it. Treat it gently, like you would a sick child or pet who got in the bag of Christmas chocolates. Do some research on foods that are good for the digestive system, cleansing foods. Pick the ones you like, disregard the ones you don't. I don't really think it matters so much the method, as it does the belief in the method. Your attitude towards your routine, which can soon become good habits, can sabotage your goals. If you don't like what you are doing, you will rarely succeed.
One of the advantages I have is my love of cooking. I would rather buy fresh and make a meal than have it prepackaged. Boxed food is ok in a pinch (for work or a quick meal) but shouldn't be your main source of nutrition. You can't expect to have a well running body if you can't remember the last bit of calcium you had...and a multivitamin that may or may not have fully dissolved, doesn't count. Not that Vitamins aren't beneficial. They just shouldn't be your only source of vitamins and minerals for the majority of the week. You need real food. Think of how much better your feel about the whole dinning experience when you know what your eating is tasty and healthy, natural and fresh (notice I didn't say fat or sugar free). Or how good it feels to feed your family something you know is good for them, or even giving your dog/cat food that looks like chopped steak in gravy, rather than mushy, gray, fishy-smelling stuff. You don't deserve to eat poorly, either. Again, you can't always have the steak (or tofu) but don't feel like you've failed because you find your self sitting in the drive-thru.
I will probably shock you with this one...but here it goes....I have been every size from 4-16. That's not the shocking part. This is...I didn't lose weight from exercise. It was purely diet control. Do I think you should cancel your gym membership? No. But you have to realize one thing...exercise does not make you lose weight. I'll give you a minute.....but it does help you stay healthy and feel good. Which is why you should exercise, unless you're training for something, that's different. Assuming you're not, you should move around a bit every day. Chase your kids, chase/run from a dog, run from the cops...whatever....just do something. I like rebounding. It's something I can do at home to music and sing loudly. I can be silly and it entertains my son to watch. Look up information on different forms of movement. Tai Chi, Yoga, Pilates, vacuuming...they key is finding something you like that is also convenient. When you exercise, think about what muscle groups you are moving and how it's important to your structure and overall health. Be mindful of your body, listen to your aches and pains. Make a mental note and move on. Dwelling on it will only bring you down, try to keep you mind and body light. A positive attitude goes a long way when you want to accomplish something.
One technique I studied was positive visualization. I know most of the stuff you hear is hokey but there is a bit of truth to what they say. Your attitude most often predicts the outcome...if you think you can, you will; if you think you can't, you won't...self fulfilling prophecy...whatever you wish to call it. You are your biggest obstacle. You stand in your way, make excuses, blame others. By learning to believe I was not meant to be heavy, I could imagine being smaller...what I knew I was meant to look like. Not some Playboy pin-up (although if Hugh offered, I wouldn't hesitate to say yes), but a realistic version of who I am. When I would get upset about my weight. I would try to think about what I wanted to wear when I got down to my natural weight or how I would look, or feel. Positive images of me...future me. It's a difficult task to be positive all the time, but like before, don't make it worse by internally berating yourself for having a bad thought. Your emotions have a huge impact on your health. Make sure they're in check (or as balanced as possible for your psychosis). Meditate, run, scream into a pillow. Let go of the stress, anger, frustration, exhaustion...whatever it is, let it go. Then you can start to let go of the weight, guilt, sadness...whatever it is...